As a kid I was terrified of the dark , I couldn’t move between rooms at night because the darkness I had to dispell before drowning the room with light was too much for me to bear even for a few seconds .
But as I grew older my fear of darkness transitioned into a fear of love .
this is not because of some forlorn childhood and not being loved enough by family in fact I had the most amazing childhood and being an only child and the youngest of a whole bandwagon of first cousins , the one shortage I never experienced in my family was love .
Its not familial love that I was afraid of but romantic love . I am a big time romantic , I love love , I love the idea of love and I wear my heart on my sleeve because I don’t think there’s any other way I can experience raw emotions other than experimenting with the fragility of my heart .
But when it comes to falling in love , I am afraid , I advocate the theory of taking a leap of faith in everything but falling in love . Because the faith that has to be there for the leap to be taken , vanquished long ago .
I have seen people who’ve told me they love their significant others and then cheat on them , hell I’ve been with them . I’ve seen the most amiable of relationships turning into a nasty affair where the once can’t keep each other’s hands off couple cant even look eye to eye . Most of all its the temporal nature of love that haunts me that one day a person can mean so much to you and one mistake can wipe them entirely out of your lives .
So you see why I am afraid , its because I’ve seen it . My idea of love is placed in this secular , bullet proof glass but with each passing year a new bullet gets stuck trying to get through it and the glass is almost about to break .
When you meet people and ideas that have the ability to break your entire belief system then the perils of the dark seem a less scary reality .
Because in the darkness of, the night you don’t see the faces coming at you , but in the light of love , people who we come in contact can never be fully forgotten .