Left right Left 🙄

Death is imminent and lurks around our vicinity each time we step in or step out, so when death has this immenency factory to it , we are pressurized both by the society and our conscience to fill our short life spans with rights . 

Rights as in the right thing to do , the right way to go and the right things to choose . 

Lets face it right from the beginning of life as we know it , it has been shoved down our throats even by pop culture which has always been popularised as the devil’s advocate and by superheroes , soap operas and boooks to always do the right even if that means you lose out . Doing the right thing is what makes the good guy good right ? 

But you know why the ratio of good guys to bad guys are so miserably decimal , it is because doing the right thing sucks . 

I know for a fact that the person who had this thought of instilling in our minds the right thing to do must have been a melancholic person who had one thing going for him for sure no matter whatever else went south , a guilt free conscience.

WHY ? Because doing the right thing is almost always self sacrificial . You do it even though you kill a little part of yourself doing it . 

And that leaves you melancholic but you get a guilt-free conscience. 

If that’s the bargain you consider profitable then like me you are going to be melancholic , my friend . 

Scares & ‘mares 👁‍🗨

As a kid I was terrified of the dark , I couldn’t move between rooms at night because the darkness I had to dispell before drowning the room with light was too much for me to bear even for a few seconds . 

But as I grew older my fear of darkness transitioned into a fear of love . 

 this is not because of some forlorn childhood and not being loved enough by family in fact I had the most amazing childhood and being an only child and the youngest of a whole bandwagon of first cousins , the one shortage I never experienced in my family was love . 

Its not familial love that I was afraid of but romantic love . I am a big time romantic , I love love , I love the idea of love and I wear my heart on my sleeve because I don’t think there’s any other way I can experience raw emotions other than experimenting with the fragility of my heart . 

But when it comes to falling in love , I am afraid , I advocate the theory of taking a leap of faith in everything but falling in love . Because the faith that has to be there for the leap to be taken , vanquished long ago . 

I have seen people who’ve told me they love their significant others and then cheat on them , hell I’ve been with them . I’ve seen the most amiable of relationships turning into a nasty affair where the once can’t keep each other’s hands off couple cant even look eye to eye . Most of all its the temporal nature of love that haunts me that one day a person can mean so much to you and one mistake can wipe them entirely out of your lives . 

So you see why I am afraid , its because I’ve seen it . My idea of love is placed in this secular , bullet proof glass but with each passing year a new bullet gets stuck trying to get through it and the glass is almost about to break . 

When you meet people and ideas that have the ability to break your entire belief system then the perils of the dark seem a less scary reality

Because in the darkness of, the night you don’t see the faces coming at you , but in the  light of love , people who we come in contact can never be fully forgotten . 

Letters are not for granted🗯

Something stirred inside me today while teaching a 14 year old , 9th grader how to write the alphabet . You read right , today in my time at Cresecent-a Muslim girls home at payanapilly , I was teaching a 9th grader how to write the alphabet in a two line notebook . 
In ninth grade , you and I were engrossed in quadratic equations and acing our 300 word essays , we had long surpassed the writing in a two line book stage and were too far out to even remember that such a phase existed in our early school years . 

The girl in question was suffering from a writing disorder called dysgraphia , its  certainly not as famous as its sister disorders like dyslexia and ADHD but the chances are it’s as common and the failure to understand it, is from our part.

 The knowledge and the experience you gain while dealing and working with people struggling  with such disorders , opens doors of gratitude within yourself .

While it does sound pretty narcissistic to be grateful of your abilities whilst encountering people who aren’t as fortunate , the reality is that a mere engagement with them is as humbling as any experience . 

It just reminds you that the things we consider as the most fundamental of our abilities and which we often take for granted are in fact a blessing that most people are impaired of . 

Simple joys like writing , creating and formulating your own ideas and thoughts in a way that only you can are in actually not such a common ability . 

So like every other thing in life , letters too are not for granted . 

For Auld Lang Syne 💌

Old ties and new skies , heralding a new year .

Sitting here in the last 20 my minutes of the much awaited ending of the year 2016 the tune that is ringing through my head is the one that made the title .

Should auld acquaintance be forgot and never brought to mind ? 

These lyrics have significant meaning now , although the world from which this song has originated has long come to an end.  

We’re in an entirely  different century with an entirely different batch of people with different principles and mindsets but yet this song entices us to put our thinking hats on as we harbring the new year . 

Should old acquaintance be forgot ? See , the Instagram and Facebook posts and trolls would’ve have already made up your mind by now with their “this new year cut off the people who’ve brought unhappiness and drama into your lives ” posts, but as always I beg to differ . 

Cutting people off ? Really , is that how you want to start a brand new year by cutting ties with people who’ve been part , however small of 2016 . 

Yes people often the ones who we consider the closest to us are the main sources of our unhappiness and grief and are key players in moments which we wish we could pass and not experience . 

But ,as a much loved but unfortunately dead literary character once said 

You don’t get to choose if you get hurt in this world…but you do have some say in who hurts you and I like my choices.

 And like him we must also like our choices because believe it or not these people who’ve hurt us , have done so because we’ve given them that power . 

I would say don’t give people the power to hurt you but no that won’t do then I would be just like any other slightly narcissistic writers encouraging the “don’t  care”  culture . 

Because please the year is 2017 , we must care more , the world will be a lot better with a little bit of care and effort . 

But we must remember that these people who have this power are human , yes those we love and seem no less than perfect are human and they’re faulty humans just like us with ugly alter egos and certain weaknesses that overpower them JUST LIKE US .

So , this new year however shiny and nice the prospect of new relationships and new people might sound let’s take care of the ones who hit home a long while ago . 

Nrture the relationships you’ve already built and don’t cut people off like ribbons because much like the case of ribbons it’s very hard to tie it together again without seeing the strain inside and outside . 

Because if you TAKE CARE OF THE PENNIES THE POUNDS WILL TAKE CARE OF THEMSELVES . 

Happy New year and thank you for the reading and the after  thoughts but like TS Elliott once said 

For last year’s words belong to last year’s language And next year’s words await another voice.’

 I am yet to find that voice and so are you ,  so I hope with all my heart and a bit of my liver that the voice you’ve got to find speaks of love and  euphoria mixed with the melancholic happiness of reminiscing times past . 

365 days and 365 chances to get it right 🎐



Eternally thankful to the Downton Abbey series for Introducing me to this song precisely a year back on NYE . 🙂



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